In the year of Aliens
by Suiborg
Summary: an AVP remake, reversed the ending. meant to be funny, so please don't flame


AVP Rewrite (names changed ( I don't know the real names, sue me. lol)  
Disclaimer: I don't own Aliens or Predators (like duh, I don't even know the names) HAHA now you can't sue me.  
A/N: OK, I'm a jerk. Anyways, on with the story.

Man1: They must not get to the surface!  
Mary: How do you know they are that bad?  
Man1: I've seen what they do.  
Mary: We can't trust the others, they are our enemy.  
Man2: I say the predators are the stronger enemy, I'm sure we could control the alien population afterward.  
Mary: If you say so.. Then let's find the Alien queen.  
Man2: Sounds like a plan.  
Man1: You do what you want, I'm outa here. -walks away-

A scream is heard in the distance and a door opens near them.

Mary: Well, there's our route.  
Man2: let's go.

They walk into the room with the alien queen, who is locked up and tied to the ceiling. All the aliens there eye the intruders suspiciously, including the bound queen.

Man2: Hm.. That keyhole looks familiar. -pulls out a skeleton key- This should work. -walks up to the queen-  
Mary: Be careful Man2: I am, I'm barely moving.  
Mary: Well, I'll get the other lock then. -pulls out a skeleton key and walks up the queen-

The aliens just look dumbfounded as the two humans walk up to their leader fearlessly.

Man2: Well, if this works we'll be in the favor of this bunch.  
Mary: If it doesn't, we're dead.  
Man2: True.

Mary tries the first lock and it clicks open.

Mary: Well, you were right.  
Man2: I usually am. -opens the other lock-

The queen, now free, stands up and looks them both in the eye.

Man2: She's challenging us, get down. -kneels down-  
Mary: Good idea: -does the same-

The queen, thankful to be free, burns a strange-looking A in their foreheads and walks away.

Mary: Well, it looks like we're leaving with our lives.

Another of the aliens walks up to them.

Man2: I think they want us to come with them.  
Mary: Yea, I think so too.

They follow the alien queen around the pyramid. With a cry from the queen, two of the others walk in different directions.

Man2: looking for predators no doubt.  
Mary: looks like it.

Walking around the pyramid they notice something, they were walking around in circles.

Mary: What do you think they're looking for?  
Man2: I'd say the sacrificial chamber, but that's just me.  
Mary: Why don't you try asking?  
man2: i don't know how to.  
Mary: Try sign language, it's most likely old enough.  
Man2: Ok, I'll try. -walks up to the queen and signs "What are you looking for?"-

The queen signs back " town, surface"

Man2: They're looking for a way out. Their language is a bit choppy though.  
Mary: It's northeast.  
Man2: You sure?  
Mary: Yea.  
Man2: Ok, I'll tell her. -signs the news-

The queen signs back "where, no directions"  
The man replies "What us to lead then"  
The queen replies "You can, out"

Man2: Will you lead Mary?  
Mary: Yea, Ill lead, but ask her to stay close to me. I don't really trust the others that much.  
Man2: Ok, I'll ask her. -signs "She can lead you, would you please stay near her?"

The queen signs back "good, yea" and walks up to Mary and signs " Go, I close"

Mary: What did she say?  
Man2: Go ahead, she'll stay close.  
Mary: ok.

Mary starts walking northwest and the pyramid shifts again. The queen grabs Mary and pulls her lose, just before she would have been crushed by the changing walls.  
Mary signs "thank you" and the queen replies "nothing"

Mary: um.. Translation?  
Man2: She said it was nothing.  
Mary: I see.. wonder if they understand spoken English spoken or not. Will you see if she does?  
Man2: Yea, no prom. -signs to the queen to reply with a yes or no to his words- My name is Bryan - signs "understand?"-

The queen replies "no"

Bryan: Nope, they don't.  
Mary: Great.. that sucks.  
Bryan: Hear that?  
Mary: Yea, think it's a predator?  
Bryan: I think so. -signs the queen "Can you have someone check ahead?"-

The Queen signs back "yes" then signs one of the other aliens "Ahead, check"  
Alien signs "back soon" and leaves The queen looks back at Bryan and signs "done"  
Soon a cry is heard from the alien ahead. the queen signs to others "Go, assistance" and they leave.  
Bryan signs to the queen "Mary doesn't understand you, please tell me what you want with her and I'll tell her"  
The queen replies "who Mary?" and Bryan replies "the female, I'm Bryan"

Mary: Did you just refer to me as the female?  
Bryan: Yea, What else did you think shoe would have understood?  
Mary: whatever..

The queen signs "tell quiet" Bryan replies "who?" the queen replies "Mary"

Bryan: Mary, we need to stay quiet, or they'll find us.  
Mary: Sorry. I kinda wonder what her name is.  
Bryan: I doubt she has one, but I'll ask. -sign to the queen "DO you have a name?"-

The queen replies " I Andrune"

Bryan: Her name's Andrune

Andrune signs "Quiet"  
Bryan replies "sorry"  
The aliens return and sign "dead"  
Andrune looks at Bryan and signs "clear"

Bryan: Go ahead it's clear.

Mary continues walking northwest.  
After a while they reach the opening that leads to the surface that was angled at a perfect 30º. the queen signs for Bryan and Mary to go first.  
Bryan replies "We can't walk up that, it's too steep"  
Andrune replies "help" then looks over to two of her aliens an tells them "grab"  
One of them grabs Mary and she struggles to get loose.

Bryan: It's ok Mary, they're helping us get back to the surface.  
Mary: Well, tell me next time. -stops struggling-

They reach the town and Andrune thanks them both and tells two of her aliens to stay with them.

Bryan: She's taking care of us too.  
Mary: How?  
Bryan; She's giving us bodyguards.  
Mary; Cool but how am I supposed to talk to mine?  
Bryan: I suppose you could try the ancient languages.  
Mary: I don't know them either, I only know Latin, German, and Spanish.

Bryan: Try Latin.

Mary commands the alien to walk up to her.  
The alien just looks confused.  
Mary: I guess not.  
Bryan: I think my Latin's a little better than yours. Let's see if they'll understand me.

Bryan commands the same one to sit down and it immediately does so.

Bryan: Well, I'm not that great.. I think it knew but wasn't told to follow your orders.  
Marry: That's interesting.  
Bryan: I'll ask Andrune about it. -walks up to Andrune and asks-

A/N: Latin Translated (I don't know Latin, but hell, it's story material)

Andrune: Sorry, forgot, told them listen you, not her.  
Bryan: Easy mistake, no problem.  
Andrune: You listen both, I know you don't.  
both aliens: alright.  
Andrune: I leave you, they protect long you live.  
Mary: Thank you, I really appreciate it. I can't thank you enough for saving my life in there.  
Andrune: It was nothing. I know you have done same me. Don't doubt I hurt you, but be grateful anyway.  
Mary: Hm.. You've still got a bit of that chain on your tail.  
Andrune: Not bother me.  
Mary: Is there someplace we could take you?  
Andrune: Where headed?  
Mary: Asia, Wanna come?  
Andrune: If not bother.  
Mary: It's not a bother, we'd be glad to take you.  
Andrune: Thank, -commands aliens- One, Chain off.

One of them walks up and burns the chain off.

Bryan: Acid-mouthed huh?  
Andrune: yep.  
Bryan: A little antacid should clear that up.  
Andrune: Huh?  
Bryan: Nevermind, it was a joke. I guess spiting acid has its upsides Andrune: Yea, can hurt someone.  
Bryan: Please don't do anything that will scare the crew. I don't know how they'll take having the alien queen aboard.  
Andrue: I no alien Mary: To us humans you are, there's no one like you anywhere.  
Bryan: Now, I'm going to put these on you. -pulls out a pair of handcuffs-  
Andrune: You not after I get out that.  
Bryan: It's not forever, just till we get back. We set you free we're not going to change that.  
Andrune: Guess.. - holds out hands- you don't we problems.  
Bryan: You can relax, I'll take them off when we get back.  
Mary: Please tell them to listen to me.  
Andrune: -tells them- done.  
Bryan: Ok, Let's go.

They get on the ship and head for home, where Bryan uncuffs Andrune and they part ways.

Bryan: You think we did the right thing?  
Mary: We're alive aren't we?  
Bryan: True..

A few years pass and Mary has kids and Andrune drops by for a visit.

Mary: Hey Andrune.  
Andrune: Hello.  
Mary: Go get the kids.  
Alien: right back.  
Andrune: Kids?  
Mary: Yea, our kids.  
Andrune: o..k...

They walk into the room.

Ban: Hey Gramma.  
Anna: Hello Grams.  
Alien: Hey ma.

Another alien walks into the house.

Andrune: Leave.

The alien walks back outside.

Andrune: Wanna take a walk with me?  
Mary: Sure, come on guys, let's go.

They walk to Bryan's house.  
Bryan walks to the door and hears Latin.

Bryan: I know who this is. Welcome back Andrune.  
Andrune: Yea, it's me.

Bryan opens the door and three aliens are there with him,.

Bryan: What a pleasant surprise. -signs "how's it going?"-

Andrune replies "Fine thanks, and you?"

Bryan: Well, you're English has gotten better.  
Andrune: Well, after killing 3.5 billion people I'd think it should.  
Mary: Why did you?  
Andrune: We are the superior race, and those more advanced always kill off the weaker ones.  
Mary: We have a means for living in troubled times.  
Andrune: Not without a leader you don't. Everyone bows before me, exactly the way I like it.  
Mar: Then why did you let us live?  
Andrune: You set me free. You will never have to fear being killed by me or an of my people. C ya around.. -leaves-

A/N: And the story ends.  
What did you think? Please leave a review. Have a nice day (or whatever is left of it)  
The demon of the night signing off - signs "off"- 


End file.
